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Public figures and their New Year's resolutions
If public figures such as politicians, celebrities make a New Year resolution, then what could be those? Here is a list of fictitious resolutions intended for laughing and fun only. It is not intended to hurt the sentiments of anyone.

1.       Narendra Modi: I will listen to 'Mann ki Baat' of people.

2.       Barak Obama: I will tell US citizens to chant NaMo NaMo.

3.       David Cameroon: I will tell the people of UK that 'achche din ayenge'.

4.       Nawaz Sharif: I will follow Modi in Facebook, Twitter and in all his foreign visits.

5.       Rahul Gandhi: I will not roll my sleeves, rather I will wear sleeveless shirts.

6.       Sonia Gandhi: I will reward any MP who comes out with an innovative idea of stalling Parliament.

7.       Manmohan Singh: I will speak at least 100 words

8.       Manish Tewari: I will speak such nonsense that no one else has ever spoken.

9.       Kapil Sibal: I will invent Zero Profit theory after the huge success of my Zero Loss concept.

10.   General V K Singh: I will speak only when media is not there.

11.   Suresh Prabhu: I will install an app in my mobile which can tell me the authenticity of a tweet.

12.   Arun Jaitley: I will not talk about cricket, I will only talk about GST bill till it is passed.

13.   Smriti Irani: I will insert 'Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi' in the text books for Std IX and X.

14.   Sushma Swaraj: I will only remember one Modi, i.e. Narendra Modi, and forget all other Modis including Lalit Modi.

15.   Arvind Kejriwal: I will be at odds with BJP and even with Congress. Also I will speak at least one truth during the entire year.

16.   Manish Sisodia: I will beat all records of sycophancy by saying yes to whatever Kejriwal says.

17.   Ashutosh: I will not cry on TV.

18.   Kumar Vishwas: I will recite a poem for Aam Aadmi.

19.   Yogi Adityanath: I will give hate speeches in a loving manner.

20.   Asaduddin Owaisi: I will not give hate speeches, but ensure that my people do hate what I hate.

21.   Sadhvi Prachi: I will keep a lid on my motor mouth.

22.   Robert Vadra: I will buy as much land as possible before the nation becomes Congress free.

23.   Priyanka Vadra: I will ask Robert not to buy land in Congress ruled states as wherever he bought land, Congress got eliminated.

24.   Lalu Yadav: I will ensure Jungle Raj in Bihar

25.   Nitish Kumar: I will ditch Lalu and join hands with BJP again.

26.   Mulayam Singh Yadav: I will invite Angelina Jolie for Saifai festival.

27.   Akhilesh Yadav: I will not attend Saifai festival, rather I will practice Yoga.

28.   Shivraj Singh: I will implement 'Ladla Ganesh' scheme in line with 'Ladli Laxmi' scheme.

29.   Jayalalithaa: I will try to find out methods to control rain.

30.   Mamata Banerjee: I will give shelter to 1 lakh Bangladeshis who will work as my vote bank.

31.   Navin Pattnaik: I will try to learn Odia.

32.   Raghubar Das: I will modernize tribal dance.

33.   Tarun Gogoi: I will mentally prepare myself for ensuing defeat in Assam elections.

34.   Harish Rawat: I will not get caught like others.

35.   Devendra Fadnavis: I will not antagonize Shiv Sena.

36.   Uddhav Thakrey: I will allow Pakistan team to play a cricket match against India at Wankhede Stadium.

37.   Baba Ramdev: I will teach politicians how to do a 'U Turn' Asana effectively.

38.   Salman Khan: I will try to be a human by compensating the victims of hit and run case of 2002.

39.   Shahrukh Khan: I will again label the nation as intolerant and seek excuse when my new film releases.

40.   Aamir Khan: I will find a place in Mars to live tolerantly with my wife and kids.

41.   Akshay Kumar: I will overtake the Khans this year.

42.   Saif Ali Khan: I will be the new Khan ruling Bollywood.

43.   Priyanka Chopra: I will act in a Hollywood film that can bag an Oscar Award.

44.   Deepika Padukone: I will act in films that are actress centric, not actor based.

45.   Arnab Goswami: I will talk less and listen more in News hour debates.

46.   Rajdeep Sardesai: I will overtake Arnab Goswami.

47.   Virat Kohli: I will ask Anushka to go out of the stadium when I am batting.

48.   M S Dhoni: I will score some runs .

49.   R Ashwin: I will learn how to bowl a 'teesra'.

50.   Ravindra Jadeja: I will try to justify my unofficial 'Sir' title.

(The above piece is purely a fiction intended for fun only)

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